Grabe two months bago ako nagkalakas ng loob to sit down and reflect on this question.
And guys, ganon pa rin! Wala pa rin akong pangarap sa buhay! HAHAHAHAHA
Pero bumalik ako sa dati… I’m doing multiple things again. Di na naman ako mapakali na hindi napapagod.
I’m working multiple jobs now, including creating content for local businesses here in Bulacan. :)
I lost financial stability due to the MANY life transitions I’ve gone through and I’m living alone now. ;)
Wala pa rin akong pangarap sa buhay pero alam nyo what keeps me going these days? I think I found a reason, a purpose.
But, but, but!
I still actively choose to focus on peace and living.
I still try not to chase dreams that aren’t mine.
I still try not to chase wealth that I don’t need.
I still try not to choose a lifestyle that isn’t true to me.
I am in a journey of learning about myself every single day so I’m not compelled to live someone else’s life.
Palagi kong binabantayan sarili ko na huwag ako ma-burnout and huwag ako ma-FOMO.
I try to assess if the path I’m on is something that I genuinely want to pursue.
Madalas ko lalo maramdaman na I’m behind in life as a 30-year-old.
May pressure talaga! But that’s just societal pressure I impose on myself.
And having awareness of this helps me refocus.
So, wala pa rin akong pangarap sa buhay.
Pero recently nagkaroon ako ng dahilan para bumangon sa umaga. Kasi…
Mas naging involved na ako sa family ko.
I’ve met people who brighten my life.
Ayaw pa akong kunin ni Lord, eme!
This part remains the same after three years:
I do have a dream.
I dream to be a person after God’s heart.
I dream to touch lives and help others.
I dream to be someone na una mong maiisip whenever you need someone to listen and not judge.
My dreams go far beyond a title or a pay grade.
And I am content with it.
In conclusion, nothing changed after three years. Wala pa rin akong pangarap sa buhay. But I found a desire in my heart to show up for the people whom I love and who love me.
I try to find balance between slow simple living, and being the version of myself the situation needs.
For further reading, read this piece I wrote in 2023:
Saan Ba Ako Lulugar?
A sequel to Wala Yata Akong Pangarap Sa Buhay